i'm baaaack!!!

Yippee!!!

After the telenovela-ish fiasco that was last Saturday afternoon, I am very glad to say that I am finally back from Hong Kong and settled. Sort of. I woke up at 10am totally disoriented and rushed off to work. Hmmm. All I did today was set up my new toy... more lovingly referred to as Chiko's T3. Woohoo!!!

Higlights from the trip home:

The in-flight demo voice-over guy
- whose accent we couldn't quite gauge (he seemed to be 1. British, 2. From the ghetto, and 3. Southern)
- for example: push = poosh
put = poot
mask = meisk/maysk
together = twogetha
- we were laughing so hard we didn't realize it was live. Patay.

Kenny G's Theme from Dying Young is muzak on the plane. So NOT a good sign. ;)

Scary Moment:
There's a typhoon in the Philippines the day we arrive. Turbulence causes the plane to shake. ROUGH ride, and I'm no stranger to flying. Ana and I cling to each other for support.
Scarier Moment:
The captain trying to calm everyone down. Explains by saying "Ladies and gentlemen, it's alright. We were passing through a cloud and it didn't appear on the monitor."
*Puta! What else DIDN'T he SEE?!? Oh, well. At least I'm at home now and alive at that.

Haaay. More tomorrow. Many, many errands await.

i'm leaving! i'm leaving!

I am SOOOO excited.

We finally finalized our Hong Kong trip this morning. So I am definitely leaving on Saturday and coming home on Monday. Incidentally, Saturday is also the start of the 2004 Hong Kong Shopping Festival and so I can't wait to SHOP SHOP SHOP!!! Woohoo!!!

My Dad is really so sweet. He found out I was leaving and so he gave me a lot of money so I could go shopping daw. *tears* I told him it was too much - it really was WAY too much for little ol' me. But he was like, just keep it. If I didn't feel like spending all of it, I could save it. Awww... Dads are the best, right Reg? ;)

I sooo cannot wait. I feel like a little kid.

isn't this giraffe so annoyingly cute? gotta love those cnn offbeat images. (i think i'm going to start to post annoyingly cute animals every week or something) 

moms are funny that way...

I was just walking down the street this afternoon and for some weird reason, people kept on saying hello to me. Weird. Total strangers. It must be this stupid skirt. See, I'm REQUIRED by my boss to wear a skirt every monday. Something about looking professional or something like that. Nothing wrong with being all girly though. I just hate having to shave or pluck my legs on Monday mornings. Haay. Remind me to go and hav my legs lasered already. I get antsy kasi eh.

Anyway...

So this morning, on the way to work, my mom launches into her "Lose weight, you're fat. Cut your hair, you look haggard." bit. The killer? "You were pretty na before. Now you're getting fat again. Stop eating." I know she does it out of love, but it drives me CRAZY. I suppose she just wants people to think I'm attractive, or something to that extent. But get this: 5 minutes later, while we were stuck in traffic, some guy in a pickup stares right at me. She gets annoyed and says "Can you just put your sunglasses on so people will stop looking at you?!?"

Here's the part where I start to think "Eh?"

My mom talaga...

direk reg crashing after his first MTV shoot. 

it's a wrap for direks reg and meek ;)

I AM SOOO PROUD OF MY FRIENDS RHED AND MIC!!! Galing. They wrapped up their first MTV shooting yesterday - and of course I wouldn't let it pass without being there myself to witness all the action. Let me tell you this: it was definitely a day to remember.

Rhed and I paid the price for going malling instead of working by our obvious lack of sleep.

Chiko: Rhed, can you wake me up tomorrow? I don't think I can wake up.
Rhed: Okay. I'll wake you up at 3am.
(3:00am)
Rrrriinnng!
Chiko: Yeah, yeah. I'm awake.
Rhed: I'll be at your house by 4.
SMS alert at 4am
Rhed: I'm parking.
PATAY.
Chiko: I'm awake! I'm awake! Gimme a minute.

Truth was, I fell asleep quarter to three... and fell back to sleep right after he called me. So there. Rhed is one of the VERY FEW to see my legs. (Had to pick him up from the lobby kasi in my boxers. Shiiit. Blackmail material.)

Oh, and that's not it. More gems from yesterday's shoot:

Chiko (to Rhed on stirring his coffee): You can borrow my STEERER.

Rhed (to the MTV girl on holding the mic): Nicole, kanina ka pa kasi gumaganon. (motions with his hand... it looks uncannily like the gesture someone would make for, say, fellatio - and the poor girl is only 15!).

Rhed: Rolling! Ay, mali. Action pala.
Chiko: Psst. Rhed, tama 'yung rolling.
Rhed: Ah, talaga?

Rhed (on shooting Nicole's lola's scene): We'll do Lola later.

More on Lola...

Rhed: Okay, guys. We'll do Lola last.
(Rhed pala has geriatric fantasies...)

Rhed (on having me stand-in for Nicole's singing on the bed scene): Chiko, get on the bed.
Chiko: Ay.
(And the whole crew laughs.)

Grabe, there were so many bloopers and ka"barok"an yesterday. Some more of mine:

I was thought-ing...
It just keps getting better.

Ano ba..!?!? My English used to be flawless!!! Actually, there WERE more bloopers - too many of which I am too lazy to write. Besides, I look like too much of an idiot already. Sigh...

All in all, though, it was a fun shoot. I'm so proud of Rhed and Mic. Sobra. *hugs to you both!*

*addendum: Thank you, Meek, for reminding me to post one of the shoot's most memorable lines -

Rhed: Nicole, i want you to put your one LEGS down...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

caught in the middle & my very "showbiz" lunch

Don't you just hate it when you have the best of intentions and then everything just goes awry?

Yupyup. A couple of hours ago I got a call from my boss, Mommy2. She sounded very serious. Apparently my other boss, Bebe, spoke to her because he was "concerned." Yeah, well, he made me sound like a complainer, which I really am not. I mean, if I'm unhappy I have a tendency to just suck it in and wallow in my unhappiness in private. So really I wasn't complaining. I was just scared that if I accepted the offer of my other boss Mr. Dragon(like, how many bosses can a person have, huh?) my other job responsibilities might suffer. It's a valid concern, right? Well, anyway, there. She had to ask me what the real deal was. And I told her straight. If I say no, so and so might take it against me. How do you say no to that?

On the flipside, I am now the editor-in-chief of a celebrity profile magazine. Is this something to rejoice about? No idea. We'll just have to see if 1) I stick around long enough to see this project through and 2) if I do decide to take on this project at all. Because this magazine was the offer of Mr. Dragon - you know, the one that might conflict with my existing job?

At least it gave me the chance to spend some time with my friend (and now new crush) Smeagol... More on Smeagol in a bit.

Earlier in the afternoon...

Yes, yes. Celebrity lunch with Manay and LT at Sugi, my favorite Japanese restaurant. I absolutely gorged on the teppan and green tea ice cream. Sitting there made ME feel like a celebrity. Hahaha! Imagine, they seemed to trust my taste and were very receptive to my suggestions. This could actually be a cool thing to do. If I could set my schedule straight. Haay. What to do...

i enjoy being a girl...

Finally. I've managed to sneak off and write an entry for my blog.

Yesterday afternoon was such a blast - I learned so much stuff about... MAKEUP. It's quite nice to indulge in utterly girlie stuff once in a while. Abbygale Arenas is now my official makeup guru. She's so much fun to hang out with pala. Former beauty queen and all and yet she still knows how to have fun. Idol ko na siya.

Some new things I learned about makeup:

1. Smell your makeup. If they start to smell like wax, it's time to throw them away.

2. Smell your brushes. Hmmm. Parang there's a lot of smelling involved in makeup pala. If they start to smell funky, chances are they're infested with bacteria so throw them away. Oh, and it's good to clean your brushes on a regular basis.

3. Start from the top to the bottom, i.e. start from the eyebrows and descend to the lip area for best results.

4. A hairdryer and a lash curler can be a girl's best friend. Just a quick run under the blower can give a girl fantastic lashes to flutter with. (Oh, and NEVER curl your lashes after applying mascara. More than just the mascara could come of. (Imagine having zero lashes!)

Anyway, what started out as a simple makeup lesson for Mommy2 turned into a fun, girlie makeup shopping spree. She was so nice she got Macaroon a fabulous gloss from Shu Uemura. She looks great. Macaroon, buy the lipstick na!!! Going around Rustan's and Beauty Bar was so much fun. Imagine Abby as the makeup police... swatting us away from unnecessary beauty buys, no matter how tempting. She's so cool she even gave Ana and Ms. U instant makeovers. Makeup shopping was never so much fun, I swear. (Plus, this was actually the first time I went Beauty Bar-ing MINUS any boys. Why is it that the boys take longer in there than I do? Hmmm...)

Here's to my new Bloom Multi-Purpose Makeup Palette. I just died when I got it. Thanks, Mommy2. :)

one more. awww. awwww... 

i'm kinda having a stressful day... but everytime i see this picture i feel better. shit. maybe i'm turning into a cat-lady. yeah, and my 99 cats will eat my remains when i die old and alone... (di naman ako morbid, ano?) 

sentimental fool

This morning I heard James Ingram's There's No Easy Way (To Break Somebody's Heart) or something like that. Everytime I hear that song, I'm either crying or quite close to tears. Now I'm no sappy person (oh, really?!) but that song REALLY affects me. I don't even think I like it. It's the lyrics. Damn words.

My mom is a HUGE James Ingram fan. It's in her car. She plays it ALL THE TIME. Morning, noon, night - I can't get away from it. It's like that time she played The Carpenters over and over again. Buti nalang the Pajero got stolen. Hehehe. >:) But anyway, I must've heard the damn song a gazillion times and it only really started to affect me recently. Well, maybe since 2000. You know why? Because the girl in the song is me. :)

It started with Puffy... and continued on with Ed Bighead. I hate having my exes see me cry. So I shut up and look away. Wala lang... That stupid song just kills me. Oh, but don't get me wrong. I LOVE my exes. Seriously. In fact... here's a little tidbit from a reflection I wrote about 2 weeks ago. Tidbit lang, ha.

I believe that when you love a person, there is no going back. You can never un-love a person once you have decided to love him or her. Which is why these are very “dangerous” words to utter. I truly believe that LOVE IS A DECISION. Something you choose to bestow on a person you deem worthy of your love. Everything else after that, whether or not you say you hate that person after, even wishing them ill or dead, is just an offspring of love gone awry. Hate is love unreciprocated. But isn’t one of the “conditions” of loving that of it not expecting anything in return?

One of my exes recently asked me, “Why are you so fond of me? Why are you still my friend after everything I’ve done to you?” I think now I know the answer to that. “Because I love you, Ed Bighead, and nothing you can ever do will change that fact.” I love you without expecting anything in return, which is why it doesn’t hurt me when you do those awful things. I never expected you to be nice to me anyway. I never expected you to feel gratitude towards me. I never expected you to love me back. I love you because I love you, and that’s just that. Not romantic, not with malice. Love is innocence in its purest form.

I love my exes, and I always will. They have shaped my being and taught me things neither book nor scientific study will ever teach me. They altered the course of my life, and I believe loving them was not without a purpose. Whether it is to prepare me for a greater love or to expand my capacity to love, they came into my life because God willed them to.

Stupid song.

me and my cousie. happy birthday, sweetie! 

oh, and it's my couscous' birthday today...

How could I even post on this blog without talking about my best friend Cousie?

Thank God he doesn't know I have one so I can rant all about how I fell in love with him - before I found out he was gay... Bwahahaha. >:)

Seriously though, I'm so glad he's been there for me all these years. I've known him since 2000 (wow... it's been 4 years!). He's the constant in my life, always looking out for my well-being, listening and bearing with my sawa sob-stories, and just always being there (even if it pains him). I love you, Cousie. Mwah. :-*

To my surrogate boyfriend, constant companion, and newly-bald bestfriend: You're DEFINITELY one of my happy thoughts. Thanks.

today is officially my day for screwing up.

*errata: Yesterday, I posted that my former blogdom was "lost in oblivion" and it triggered memories of a film I saw a long time ago (which I absolutely enjoyed) starring one of my favorite actors, Steve Buscemi. Nyek. It was Living in Oblivion pala. I seem to have a knack for making (duh) stupid mistakes. Take note of the following, for example:

On losing a round in Mummy Maze: Oh, no! I'm DIED!
On talking about a dead celebrity: She's DIED. (sense a pattern here?)
On debating with my brother about the Filipino word for thunder: Hel-lo. Thunder is KALOG. Ugh. (The REAL word being KULOG. Kalog means fun or wacky or something.)

Yeah. I'm an idiot.

But seriously, I actually think I write pretty well. I mean, I was actually offered a teaching position in my high school for (get this) GRAMMAR. I turned it down because I wanted to teach Lit. And I write, fer cryin' out loud!!! Hmmmm... William would be very disappointed. (Yeah, yeah. Shakespeare.)

So, anyway, as the title of this post says... THIS IS OFFICIALLY MY DAY FOR SCREWING UP. Uh-huh. Mom was pretty disappointed with my over-spending. I can just imagine the look on my Dad's face when he hears about his "responsible little girl" pulling a PJ. (My bratty brother is usually the one giving my parents headaches - especially when it comes to his spending habits.) But, really, can they blame me if I kept spending? I was depressed. Or feeling VERY, VERY BAD at the very least. (It's a shopaholic's mantra, I tell you. There's no excuse for overspending.) Besides,I've been good. I've been behaving.

I'm honestly so tired of all these excuses. It's part of my constant struggle to be "the perfect daughter." You know, the one you can bring home to the folks because she's well-mannered, has breeding, is cultured, smart... etc. etc. Sometimes the pressure's so great I can't take it. I remember one time, when my blockmates and I decided to go all-out drunk one week before hell-week at Puffy's house, I was labeled "the sad drunk." There were 3 of us. The happy drunk, the sleepy drunk, and the sad drunk. And you wanna know what the heck I was crying about?! "I'M NOT PERFECT. WAAAH!!!" Boy, that must've driven Puffy nuts. Why? Why do I do this? Am I making up for all my brother's stupid mistakes? No, I may not have graduated with honors (that's AC for you) but at least I didn't get pregnant. I've been good. No drugs. No sex (okay... maybe this one I'm regretting :P). No embarrasing "Pick me up at the Police Station, please." Well, maybe just once. And it wasn't my fault. I'm responsible. Really, I am. I WANT to make my parents happy, even if I'm not malambing to them I DO love them. I want to give them something to be proud about. I guess this is why I cried when I missed graduating with honors from college by point-something. I didn't cry because I didn't get it. I cried because I couldn't give my dad the opportunity to pin the medal on me.

I miss my Dad...

On the less prone-to-visit-the-shrink side, I did screw up at work as well. Gave some bratty patient a reason to bitch at the staff. My fault completely. I'm going to send her Acne Spot Treatment stick so we never have to Kenacort her again. Otherwise, I'll poke her with the stupid needle myself to stop her sappy whining. Blecch.

good ol' walt...

I know I should be on my way home and watch the Fantasia-Diana Idol showdown on Star but I just can't bear the thought of having to "kupal" my way home. I hate driving in the Philippines. It drives me nuts. Besides, there's an early morning replay. And I know who's going to win anyway.

It's been so long since I've had the drive to write something about myself. I mean, after all, it IS a little self-indulgent don't you think? But a person's got to have an outlet somewhere, n'est pas?

So... sitting on my hiney, listening to Ben Folds Five (I love you, Ben! Please, PLEASE be straight and marry me!!!) I decided to read up on old Uncle Walt (Whitman not Disney, you fool) and came across this poem. Funny how I never discovered it before. He's a genius.

To A Stranger
(Walt Whitman)

Passing stranger! you do not know how longingly I look upon you,
You must be he I was seeking, or she I was seeking, (it comes to me
as of a dream,)
I have somewhere surely lived a life of joy with you,
All is recall'd as we flit by each other, fluid, affectionate,
chaste, matured,
You grew up with me, were a boy with me or a girl with me,
I ate with you and slept with you, your body has become not yours
only nor left my body mine only,
You give me the pleasure of your eyes, face, flesh, as we pass, you
take of my beard, breast, hands, in return,
I am not to speak to you, I am to think of you when I sit alone or
wake at night alone,
I am to wait, I do not doubt I am to meet you again,
I am to see to it that I do not lose you.

In one of my favorite movies, You've Got Mail, there's a scene where Meg Ryan's character breaks up with her boyfriend, Greg Kinnear, after they both realize they're just not "in love" with each other. So he asks her: "How about you? Is there someone else?" And you know what she says? It's probably one of my favorite lines (ever). She says "No, but there's the DREAM of someone." Awww... See? This is what I felt after reading this poem. After yesterday's fiasco of "What?!? No boyfriend? No one?! Why?!", more than ever I'm determined to stick to my I-won't-have-a-boyfriend-till-I'm-25 mandate. Mom, Dad, (and annoying brother Peej) can't you see I DON'T WANT ONE RIGHT NOW? So is there someone? No. But there's the dream of someone. And I can't wait to meet him. JUST NOT YET. :)

yeah. now you know how insane i really am. 

blog revival

Yes, yes. I have revived my blog.

A big "THANK YOU!" to my waghag Mic Tatad, without whom my blog would be lost in oblivion. (Speaking of Lost in Oblivion... I love that movie. I wonder where my copy is. Hmmmm...)

*For my own sanity's sake... ALL NAMES HERE SHALL BE FICTICIOUS. So I have the freedom to rant like anything. Bwahahaha.